How far apart are we?

A long distance relationship calculator for the two cities you call home, with a card to send them.

I’m in…

They’re in…

Not listed? Pick the nearest big city. Nothing you type leaves your browser.

Pick both cities to see how far apart you are, plus flight time, drive time and a card to send them.

How far apart are you, really?

Choose your city and your partner’s city, and this free long distance relationship distance calculator shows the straight-line distance between you in miles or kilometers. It also estimates a nonstop flight time, a drive time when the trip is actually drivable, and how many marathons, Manhattans or trips to the space station it would take to reach them. Then turn it into a card or a link they can open on their phone.

The number is the “as the crow flies” great-circle distance between city centers, worked out with the haversine formula on a sphere the size of the Earth. It’s the same starting point airlines use, which is why it’s shorter than any road trip.

How to make the distance feel smaller

You can’t shrink the map, but you can change how far apart it feels. A few things that tend to help:

1
Give the distance a shape
Open-ended distance is the hard kind. Even a loose plan (“we’ll talk about moving after my lease is up”) turns a vague ache into something you’re building toward. Put the next visit on the calendar before this one ends.
2
Trade constant for consistent
You don’t need to text all day. A good-morning message you can count on and one real call a few times a week usually feel closer than a stream of half-attention. Agree on a rhythm that fits both your time zones and stick to it more than you break it.
3
Do things, not just talk
Calls get stale when they’re only status updates. Cook the same recipe on video, start a movie on the count of three, or pull a card from our long distance relationship questions and FaceTime games deck. Shared experiences make memories; recaps don’t.
4
Leave things for them to find
A note they open on a bad day can do what a call can’t at 3 a.m. Write a set of open when letters or send a virtual hug when you know they’re walking into something hard.
5
Say what security looks like for you
A late reply means nothing to one person and sets off alarms for another. Neither is wrong. Tell each other what helps you feel steady (“a quick ‘busy, love you’ is enough”) so you’re not each left guessing across the miles.
6
Keep a life where you are
Friends, hobbies, a walk you love. A full life on both ends gives you more to share and takes pressure off the relationship to be your only source of joy. Missing someone and enjoying your own Saturday can happen at the same time.

Popular long-distance distances

Some city pairs come up again and again in long-distance love stories. Tap one to open it in the calculator.

Straight-line distance between popular long-distance city pairs
Cities	Distance	Nonstop flight
Manila to Toronto	8,210 miles13,220 km	≈ 17h
Seoul to Los Angeles	5,960 miles9,590 km	≈ 12h 30m
London to New York	3,460 miles5,570 km	≈ 7h 30m
Sydney to London	10,560 miles16,990 km	≈ 21h 45m
Lagos to Houston	6,510 miles10,480 km	≈ 13h 35m
São Paulo to Lisbon	4,940 miles7,950 km	≈ 10h 25m
Toronto to Vancouver	2,090 miles3,360 km	≈ 4h 40m
Chicago to New York	710 miles1,140 km	≈ 1h 55m
Mumbai to Toronto	7,760 miles12,490 km	≈ 16h 5m
Manila to Sydney	3,900 miles6,270 km	≈ 8h 20m
Mexico City to Los Angeles	1,550 miles2,490 km	≈ 3h 35m
Berlin to Paris	540 miles880 km	≈ 1h 35m

More for long-distance couples

Long distance relationship questions and games: a shuffled deck you can play together on two phones.
Open when letters: notes for the nights you can’t be there.
Send a virtual hug: for when a text isn’t quite enough.

FAQ

How do I find out how far apart we are?

Pick your city in “I’m in” and theirs in “They’re in.” The calculator measures the straight-line distance between the two city centers, the same “as the crow flies” number a pilot would start from, and shows it in miles or kilometers. You’ll also see a rough flight time, a drive time when a road trip is realistic, and a few playful comparisons.

Is this the driving distance or the straight-line distance?

The big number is the straight-line distance over the curve of the Earth. Roads bend around mountains, lakes and borders, so the real driving distance is always longer. The drive-time estimate pads the straight line to allow for that, and it only shows up when both cities sit on the same landmass and are under about 3,000 km (roughly 1,900 miles) apart. If there’s an ocean between you, we’ll say so instead of pretending you can drive it.

How is the flight time calculated?

It assumes an average of about 800 km/h (around 500 mph) plus 30 minutes for taxiing, climbing and landing, as if a nonstop flight existed between your two cities. Real flights change with jet streams, routing and, very often, layovers, so treat it as a feel-good ballpark rather than a booking guide.

How far apart counts as a long-distance relationship?

There’s no official line. A useful rule of thumb: if you can’t casually see each other on a random Tuesday, and every visit takes planning, tickets or time off, you’re doing long distance. Two hours apart with opposite work schedules can feel farther than a short flight with a standing weekend plan. The number matters less than what it does to your routines.

Can long-distance relationships actually work?

Plenty do. The couples who handle distance well tend to have three things going for them: a shared, even rough, plan for eventually living in the same place; communication that’s consistent rather than constant; and the courage to say what helps them feel secure. If the distance stirs up a lot of worry or a lot of pulling away, that usually says more about attachment patterns than about the miles, and it’s something you can work on together.

My city isn’t in the list. What should I do?

The calculator bundles about 590 cities so it can run entirely in your browser without asking for your location. If yours isn’t there, pick the nearest big city. Across an ocean, a 30-mile difference barely moves the number, and the card will still say what you mean.

Do you save our cities or names?

No. Everything happens in your browser, and nothing is saved on our side. When you share a link, the two cities and any names you typed are written into the link itself so the result looks the same when your partner opens it. Leave the names blank if you’d rather keep them out.