Do You Actually Know Your Attachment Style? 90% of People Get It Wrong Without This App
Do You Actually Know Your Attachment Style? 90% of People Get It Wrong Without This App
So that online attachment style quiz just told you your attachment style is "anxious". It explains why you always check your phone after you catch feelings for them.
BUT! It doesn't explain why sometimes you want to run away when you and your ex fought.
Why is that...?
Turns out - online quizzes only give you a snapshot of your attachment style at a single moment in time.
That's like judging your health based on how you feel for five minutes. It's helpful, but doesn't reflect the unique attachment style that you hold.
Attachment styles are fluid, like personalities
No, your attachment style isn't a permanent label. Research shows it can shift over time, depending on context, experiences, and relationships!
For example, a new relationship may trigger more anxiety. But a secure relationship may help you feel more secure.
Why do attachment styles matter?
How would you feel if you just discovered that there's an invisible filter shaping how you see the world vs what's real?
- Filtering your reality
- Making you search for the same unfulfilling relationships
- Stopping you from achieving your full potential
Your attachment style isn't just a pattern in love.
This filter unconsciously decides for you who feels safe, what feels threatening, and how much connection you think you deserve.
It makes a late reply from a friend feel like abandonment, or a compliment at work feel like manipulation.
It quietly influences how you show up in friendships, in your career, even how you parent or lead.
Understanding your attachment style is the key to rewriting the operating system that runs your entire life. It's like gaining a life manual that helps you understand why you act certain ways and how to navigate tricky situations.
So how should we actually figure out what our attachment style is?
Method 1: quizzes
Pros:
✅ Efficient as a 5-minute quiz quiz
✅ Useful for measuring how people currently feel in relationships.
✅ Proven to work: Tools like the ECR-R are backed by research and used often
✅ Even though it's a self-assessment, some questions reveal patterns you might not be fully aware of. (Bartholomew & Moretti, 2002).
Cons:
❌ Shows only your current state, may not reflect deeper patterns (Hyland & Shevlin, 2024)
❌ People may answer in ways that make them look better, not truthfully.
❌ May miss core attachment defenses or early-life influences (Bartholomew & Moretti, 2002)
❌ Answers can change based on mood, recent relationships, or partners
Method 2: long-form interviews
Pros:
✅ Better at uncovering defensive strategies and unresolved trauma (Bartholomew & Moretti, 2002)
✅ Evaluates how people talk about relationships, which may be more telling than their beliefs.
✅ Especially useful for understanding how childhood experiences influence current behavior
✅ Avoidantly attached people may deny issues in quizzes but reveal them in interviews.
Cons:
❌ Takes a long time
❌ Even expert raters can differ in results since it's based on subjectivity
❌ Impractical for widespread use
❌ Less sensitive to context changes like romantic attachment (Bartholomew, 2002)
It seems like you need both: the structure of quizzes and the depth of interview-based reflection.
Exciting news - you can now finally try the most innovative method to understand your attachment style now!
Designed for real life
The Attached app uses a hybrid approach based on the latest psychology, it combines:
- Interactive, research-backed quizzes
- Guided interviews that simulate the depth of an attachment coach's approach
- Smart journaling tools that track your relational patterns over time
Together, these tools uncover how your attachment style shifts depending on your current relationships, triggers, and emotional state. Not just how you feel in a single moment!
Giving you a full breakdown of just how your brain's unconsicious filter impacts your life, so you can gain back control.
Why interviews matter
Researchers from Simon Fraser University (Bartholomew and Moretti (2002)) highlight that interviews are often better at revealing unconscious defenses and childhood patterns. These insights are vital to understanding your everchanging attachment tendencies, not just the version of yourself you show when you're calm and regulated.
That's how Attached helps you unlock the parts of your relational style that quizzes miss, helping you thrive in your relationships.
Unlock your invisible filter
Your attachment style should grow with you: navigating a new relationship, healing from a breakup, or building healthier connections. Our app tracks how your attachment responses shift, and gives you personalized guidance every step of the way.
Discover who you are, not just in one moment, but across a lifetime.
Because you're more than a type. You're a whole story. Let's understand it together.
References
- Hyland, P., & Shevlin, M. (2024).
- Bartholomew, K., & Moretti, M. M. (2002).
- Bartholomew, K. (2002).