If Taylor Swift’s lyrics hit a little too close to home, you’re not alone. New research suggests the songs we love might mirror—and even reinforce—our attachment patterns.
Sometimes, Taylor Swift’s music just makes us feel SO seen, validated, affirmed.
Had a fight with your boyfriend? Plays "You're Losing Me". Had a quick fling and felt heartbroken? Plays "august".
Recent psychological research suggests that the songs we connect with most might not only reflect how we feel. They could also shape how we experience relationships, especially for those with particular attachment styles.
Understanding this connection can help us appreciate Taylor’s work even more deeply, while also supporting personal growth in how we navigate relationships.
A study from the University of Toronto's psychology department exploring attachment and lyrical preferences showed that people with different attachment styles gravitate toward specific types of music that match their emotional experiences.
These patterns suggest that the music we love doesn’t just mirror our feelings—it can validate and even reinforce emotional patterns over time.
Taylor Swift’s lyrics are celebrated for their emotional vulnerability and relatable storytelling. Some of her most iconic songs explore themes that align closely with experiences associated with anxious attachment.
Let's take a look at some hints of anxious attachment in her lyrics:
Taylor’s ability to articulate these emotions so vividly is part of what makes her music resonate so deeply with listeners around the world. Her songs offer a voice to experiences that are often difficult to put into words.
In psychology, it is suggested that we may reinforce certain emotional patterns when we repeatedly engaging with lyrics reflecting anxious themes:
The University of Toronto study suggests that anxiously attached listeners may repeatedly turn to songs that reflect their fears, like being abandoned or not being enough. This can deepen these feelings rather than soothe them.
Pop music that centers on romance often use storytelling to portray love as an emotional rollercoaster, normalizing the idea that relationships should be filled with highs and lows. While relatable, this can reinforce unhealthy expectations.
Lyrics that echo feelings of longing and self-doubt can feel validating, but they may also keep listeners stuck in patterns of overthinking and emotional dependency.
The study highlights that music doesn’t just reflect how we feel—it can actively shape how we think and behave in relationships.
This highlights the importance of mindful listening—recognizing when music supports healing versus when it may be reinforcing emotional cycles.
Taylor Swift’s music provides comfort, validation, and catharsis. Mindful listening ensures our emotional experiences contribute positively to emotional growth, here are some tips:
Understanding this dynamic allows for a more empowered and reflective relationship with the music we love.
At Attached, we created an album that offers an alternate, healthy angle from pop culture iconic couples, like Joe and Clementine (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - anxious-avoidant couple), track 1 or Ross and Rachel (Friends), track 2
Listen to the album for free wherever you listen to music, here
The Attached app makes fixing your anxious attachment easier by being the No.1 attachment-powered all-in-one app:
Taylor Swift’s music captures the intricate, beautiful, and sometimes painful realities of human connection. Recognizing the emotional patterns in her lyrics does not lessen the power of her work; it enriches our understanding of why it speaks so deeply to us.
Mindful listening allows fans to celebrate Taylor’s artistry while also choosing emotional patterns that support resilience, connection, and personal growth.
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