How Taylor Swift's Songs Secretly Reveal Your Attachment Style, According to Science

Sometimes, Taylor Swift's music just makes us feel SO seen, validated, affirmed.

Had a fight with your boyfriend? Plays "You're Losing Me". Had a quick fling and felt heartbroken? Plays "august".

Recent psychology research suggests that the songs we connect with most might not only reflect how we feel. They could also shape how we experience relationships, especially for those with particular attachment styles.

Understanding this connection can help us appreciate Taylor's work even more deeply, while also supporting personal growth in how we navigate relationships.

Attachment Styles and Music Preferences: the Groundbreaking Research

A study from the University of Toronto's psychology department exploring attachment and lyrical preferences showed that people with different attachment styles gravitate toward specific types of music that match their emotional experiences.

• Anxiously attached - prefer lyrics expressing themes of fear, longing, and dependency
• Avoidantly attached - prefer lyrics expressing emotional independence and distance.

These patterns suggest that the music we love doesn't just mirror our feelings—it can validate and even reinforce emotional patterns over time.

Taylor Swift's Lyrics and Anxious Attachment

Taylor Swift's lyrics are celebrated for their emotional vulnerability and relatable storytelling. Some of her most iconic songs explore themes that align closely with experiences associated with anxious attachment.

Let's take a look at some hints of anxious attachment in her lyrics:

1. Fear of Rejection and Longing

   • All Too Well:
     "Maybe we got lost in translation, maybe I asked for too much."
   • This lyric captures the tendency to overanalyze and internalize relationship struggles, a common pattern with anxious attachment.

2. Clinging to the Past

   • Back to December:
     "Maybe this is wishful thinkin', probably mindless dreamin'."
   • This longing for reconciliation mirrors how anxiously attached individuals struggle to let go of past relationships.

3. Emotional Dependency

   • You Belong With Me:
     "If you could see that I'm the one who understands you."
   • This sense of yearning for validation and closeness is a common feature of anxious attachment.

Taylor's ability to articulate these emotions so vividly is part of what makes her music resonate so deeply with listeners around the world. Her songs offer a voice to experiences that are often difficult to put into words.

How Pop Music Can Amplify Anxiety in Relationships

In psychology, it is suggested that we may reinforce certain emotional patterns when we repeatedly engaging with lyrics reflecting anxious themes:

1. Replaying Fears Through Music

The University of Toronto study suggests that anxiously attached listeners may repeatedly turn to songs that reflect their fears, like being abandoned or not being enough. This can deepen these feelings rather than soothe them.

2. Romanticizing Drama

Pop music that centers on romance often use storytelling to portray love as an emotional rollercoaster, normalizing the idea that relationships should be filled with highs and lows. While relatable, this can reinforce unhealthy expectations.

3. Validation of Insecurity

Lyrics that echo feelings of longing and self-doubt can feel validating, but they may also keep listeners stuck in patterns of overthinking and emotional dependency.

The Role of Music in Shaping Attachment Patterns

The study highlights that music doesn't just reflect how we feel—it can actively shape how we think and behave in relationships.

• Anxious Listeners: Songs with themes of rejection and longing can intensify fears and emotional dependency.
• Avoidant Listeners: Lyrics about independence may reinforce tendencies to avoid emotional closeness.

This highlights the importance of mindful listening—recognizing when music supports healing versus when it may be reinforcing emotional cycles.

How to Listen Mindfully

Taylor Swift's music provides comfort, validation, and catharsis. Mindful listening ensures our emotional experiences contribute positively to emotional growth, here are some tips:

1. Balance Your Playlist: Pair her emotional ballads with songs that promote self-love and empowerment.
2. Reflect on Your Feelings: Ask yourself how specific lyrics make you feel—do they help you heal or keep you stuck?
3. Use Music for Growth: Listen to songs that challenge unhealthy patterns and inspire resilience.

Understanding this dynamic allows for a more empowered and reflective relationship with the music we love.

An Album of Self-love and Empowerment

At Attached, we created an album that offers an alternate, healthy angle from pop culture iconic couples, like Joe and Clementine (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - anxious-avoidant couple), track 1 or Ross and Rachel (Friends), track 2

Listen to the album for free wherever you listen to music, here

Fix Your Attachment, Upgrade Your Life

The Attached app makes fixing your anxious attachment easier by being the No.1 attachment-powered all-in-one app:

• Daily Quests: Unlock daily quests designed to help anxious attachment and level up
• Help Mode: Access psychology-backed tools for self-soothing when you feel triggered.
• Intelligent AI Journal: Unlock your hidden patterns and get personalized suggestions as you journal
• Weekly Insights: Eden - your relationship coach intelligently analyzes your journals to help break down patterns and insights

Celebrating Taylor Swift While Supporting Emotional Growth

Taylor Swift's music captures the intricate, beautiful, and sometimes painful realities of human connection. Recognizing the emotional patterns in her lyrics does not lessen the power of her work; it enriches our understanding of why it speaks so deeply to us.

Mindful listening allows fans to celebrate Taylor's artistry while also choosing emotional patterns that support resilience, connection, and personal growth.